raymond1

I grow increasingly aware with every year that goes by that I am running low on real memories. The biggies stick out, though not as clearly as they should I suppose. The day I got my learners permit, first girl, first videogame console, first apartment, that time I, um, I, ahhhh. God, wtf did I do with my life?

This is what I mean. I am cognizant of the fact that, for me, digital memories are clearer in my mind than actual real-life experiences. I remember the exact time of day I beat Chrono-Trigger for the first time. I looked at the alarm clock-radio on my night stand. I wanted to make sure this historic event got recorded in brain.  5:25pm, after school, 12th grade, April and rainy. Our cat was staring at me, looking to get on my lap. Sorry Snickers, I gotta fight Lavos and he’s a mean motherfucker! You know he destroyed the planet in 2300AD right? Back up off me! Gimme some space! This dick is going DOWN!

Four attempts later and the feeling of satisfaction in my stomach, the world was finally saved.  Que music and balloons.  Roll on credits.

Little known fact:  I’ve played Chrono-Trigger 6 times all the way through, from beginning to end.  So what is that, like 210 hours?  Hours I’m never getting back?

More well known fact:  I don’t care!

Don’t get me started on Ninja Gaiden or Strider, Bionic Commando, or Duck Tales. I’m actually certifiable.

Final Fantasy VII is another story.  I remember sitting on the couch in my mom’s living room, age 19. I remember getting up and sitting on the coffee table to be closer to the TV.  I remember the death of Aeris at the hand of the misguided Sephiroth. I remember that pain like it happened yesterday. I remember my mom walking by and wondering why I was crying while playing a videogame.  Yeah, it was like THAT.

Okay, now ask me about something in real life that should have some significance. Like when, say, I got my first car. That’s a biggie right? Yeah, it’s not there. At least not in that kind of detail. I remember it was black, and I wanted to tint the windows. I think it was a Ply? Mouth? Something like that, whatever, it’s long gone, and the only thing in its place is a brain full of time-trial races, frags, and jumping puzzles.

I guess the right thing to do would be to sue game companies for the loss of my memory. I have Pixilated Alzheimer’s. Techno Amnesia. Digital Dementia. Watch, I bet it’ll be in the medical books soon enough.

No really, who wants to bet?