NESessities of Life – Magmax

Genre
Rail Shooter

Dominant Algorithm
Grind D-Pad/Grind Fire Button

Gameplay
The rail shooter genre is one that has yet to break its own definitions. While RPGs have seen incredible advancements as they moved away from turn-based battles and and towards more dynamic combat, rail shooter stay the same. Action/Adventure games, once host to stories never more complicated than “Save The Princess Quick”, have delivered some of the most rewarding story-telling experiences in gaming (I’m looking at you, Braid).

Yet, as the world continues to shift and grow, rail shooters remain the same. Here’s the process:

1. Player shoots enemies
2. Player collects upgrades
3. Screen fills up with enemies
4. Player gets hit/loses upgrades
5. Player rinses and repeats

Magmax is a slave to this formula, which isn’t necessarily a bad thing seeing as the formula is fundamentally enjoyable. Perhaps the beauty of the simplicity is the reason so much remains the same.

Here are Magmax’s humble beginnings. Naught more than a single star-ship on a launch pad.

From there, the upgrades slowly flow in. As with most rail shooters, those upgrades are themselves the sweetness of the game. Let’s examine.

Sweetness
Picking up a laser camera and being able to shoot a vibrating laser out of your crotch is sweetness in its purest form. This is a talent I dream of one day possessing.

Slap on a pair of high-heels and this is the most bad-ass tranny to dodge lava and slap diamonds with his magic electric dick.

Weakness
The visual splendor of modern gaming obliterates the classics. Let’s take a look at the many and varied types of worlds you will eventually traverse.

The Action Packed Desert

The Action Packed Plains

The Action Packed Ocean

Invaluable Life Lessons Which I Still Apply To This Day

1. Giant robots kick ass (NOTE: This was NOT the only piece of media that made a case for this argument)
2. Buy a controller with turbo-fire.
3. Physical contact with other creatures is fundamentally undesirable. Touch only robotic components for companionship and assistance.

Still Fun?
As fun as the genre can be. This game adheres to the rules as if they were law. If you like piloting rocket ships and shooting electric robotic jelly-fish, then this is the game for you.

Relevance Satellite to the Paradigm Shift From my Youth
Back in the day, there were games you had and games your friends had. This cart fell into the latter category. I would go to my friend’s house to play the game and, despite the extra hours afforded by a sleep-over, the schedule was tight.

After dinner, we would unfold the living-room couch and stack the carts up in anticipation of the evening ahead. Among them were Q-Bert, Sesame Street Math, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, whatever I brought over, and Magmax.

From there, the routine was simple. The first step was to respectfully acknowledge his mother’s request that we not play too much and try to get some sleep. Once she was content with our promises, there was nothing to do but plug away until we crashed out. Lord knows, we did everything we could not to crash out because we knew the law of the land come Sunday morning.

Two mandates were firmly in place at his house. First, the television was used to watch the news in the morning. Second when the sun was out, children were expected to leave the house and wrap their minds around nature for a bit.

It was actually a lot less terrible than you might imagine, exploring the rolling fields and mores of Pennsylvania. There was a creek and a church and wooded areas and wheat fields to explore. You know, the kind of shit that would make Mark Twain cream his jeans.

This game is forever embedded in my mind with those sleep-overs and explorations.

I can practically smell the hand-sewn quilts that lined that living room every time I see the title screen.

Jesse Koester is a film producer working in Tokyo. His work can be seen at www.iceblockfilms.com. Jesse has found a way to use memories as a type of drug, simultaneously sedating and stimulating himself with bygone images flashing on the backs of his eye-lids.