And now for Part two of our weekly series cataloging the adventures of the BL hosts after the Apocalypse. If you missed out on Part One you can find that here. Let’s get into it.
We’re on the road for about an hour before I feel like talking. I’m still covered in my ex-neighbor’s blood and bits of skull. I guess it’s naive to think that humans still have some built in sense of goodness, some humanity even after they’ve turned. More or less these days people are one warm meal or one ammo cache away from becoming a murderer. So it’s stupid of me to feel bad for him I guess, even though it feels like it was only two days ago he was going on about some neighborhood nonsense gossip I didn’t care about.
It all happened so fast and I’m doing my best to forget about his teeth almost sinking into my flesh. I’m doing my best to forget about how she cocked and aimed that shotgun at my face, told me to duck and blew him all to hell. I mean the guy was annoying as shit, but no one really deserves to have what’s left of their brain blown all over their yard, spread out for all the world to see. I mean, his face looked like a Rorschach test of blood and teeth by the time we got in the car and drove out of my old neighborhood.
“Where’re we going anyways?”
“Oh, now you feel like talking?” She takes a long drag off the cigarette hanging from her lips.
This isn’t one of those conversations where you’re looking at the other person. We’re both staring blindly out of the windshield, the way you’d stare up at the clouds on a sunny day. Staring but not really looking at anything.
“I’ve got a friend who has a nice outfit further north, his name’s Lance and he’s a bit of an eccentric. We can refuel and pick up the other stuff we need there.”
“The other stuff we need?”
“I told you I could use a hand.”
I find myself thinking about how uncommon it was for you to find yourself rescued by a complete stranger before all this Armageddon shit happened.
It’s dusk by the time we reach the camp. A small, single family RV in the middle of an open field. This is it? The “nice outfit?” This place is a dump. I guess I had my hopes up from the looks of this SUV we’re in. I’m thinking I’d be better off with that 9mm in my mouth slumped over on what was left of my kitchen floor.
Our M-Class pulls up to the front door and comes to a stop. Inside, I can make out a large silhouette behind the stained curtains. She honks the horn and a tall lumberjack of a man in a soiled Super Mario t-shirt, dark rimmed glasses and beard steps out of the RV. He has a red bandanna wrapped around this head and in each hand he’s carrying a chainsaw. She pops the back door and the man loads the chainsaws behind the back seat. He leaves the door open and without a word disappears around the back of the RV.
“Who’s this guy?” I ask while I have the chance.
“That’s Lance, don’t piss him off.” She says staring me right in the face. “He’s been known to be a little… Let’s just say he likes to kill things. Thinks it helps him level his character or some shit.”
“Oh, good. An unhinged maniac with a gamer complex and two chainsaws. My day got so much better.”
The man reappears from behind the RV with two tanks of gas, one in each of his tree limb arms. He loads them in the back and I notice he now has two shotguns mounted to his back like crossbones. The backdoor slams shut with a thud and before I know it, he’s tapping on my window.
“NPCs in the back.” He says, his voice muffled through the glass. “This ain’t Halo.”
I’m in the backseat on the hump like a kid going on a family road-trip. My bladder is full and Disneyland is nowhere in sight. On either side of me sit stacks of strange equipment that I don’t recognize. Wires and cables sticking out from everywhere. Outside the world whips by in a blur of smoke and fire.
“Don’t piss on my seats back there, we don’t have much further,” Jess says looking up at me in the rear-view mirror.
“Where’d you find this one?” Lance says, his face illuminated by an old Gameboy SP in his lap.
“I’m sorry, “this one?” I’m right here, asshole.” When your bladder’s full you start to get a little defiant. “Who are you people?”
Lance turns around, his cold, emotionless eyes pierce through to the back of my head. “We’re gonna bring this place back from the brink. We’re the ones they’re gonna write about in instruction manuals. We’re gonna save the world.”
“Save the world? In case you didn’t notice, the dead are walking the earth! How could we possibly save the world?”
He straightens up in his seat and turns to look at Jess. “The NPC doesn’t get it, maybe you should break it down for him.”
She looks me in the eyes through the rear-view mirror. “We’re headed to what used to be one of the main broadcast stations in the city.” She pauses and focuses her attention back on the road ahead. “You’ll see when we get there.”