Dear Rob Granito….

Dear Rob Granito:

Seriously? What kind of useless douchebag cannot take a simple fucking hint?

For those of you not in the know, Granito is a chinless fucktard that has made a career out of stealing other people’s artwork and selling it as his own. He had a table at Megacon this weekend, selling a lot of prints at $15 a pop. And they were lovely prints, as they were done by REAL ARTISTS!!!

I approached him as he was attempting to make a sale to an unsuspecting buyer. Whipping out my trusty Drrrrrooooiddd, I brought up pictures of the original art to show the buyer, while asking Rob what the deal was.

He claimed that all his art was done “after” the style of the original artist. Which included Todd McFarlane, Tim Sale, Al Rio, and others. I patiently tried to explain that there is a difference between painting/drawing something “after” a piece, and blatant lightboxing. (Works for Greg Land! Fun game kids: Find a hot chick drawn by Greg Land. Then, find the porn shot he took it from!)

Unfortunately, after a lifetime steady diet of mercury and baseball bats to the head, Granito failed to see difference. Then, his buddy Austin Janowski got up and started threatening me. Now Austin is ANOTHER world famous “artist’, who apparently got a thank you in Iron Man: The End #1. I asked him what he did in the issue, and he showed me. I shit you not; he apparently helped make a background turquoise. I applaud you, sir. *golf clap*

At any rate, Austin says “I am not the guy you want to mess with”. And he also has been going to Megacon for 12 years! I said “ease up there, lad” and he snarled at me. I was unimpressed, as I have taken shits with more artistic creativity. Also, claiming you have stroke at Megacon? Somebody lacks a decent sized penis…

 

Back to oblivious Rob: He did show some alleged original art. It looked like someone ate a box of Crayolas and booted over a page. “See?” he pleaded,” I draw my own stuff.” I have drawn MY own stuff as well. Does not mean that I am not a shitty artist. I have also traced things when I was a kid.

Ethan Van Sciver and Mark Waid both went to Rob’s table and gave him the business, telling him he is done going to cons. As Mark Waid said : “Hey Granito: When you get comics’ loudest leftwing hippiefreak AND loudest rightwing Nazi to join forces on your ass, YOU HAVE FUCKED UP.” Truer words have never been spoken.

But true to his missing-chromosome self, Rob finds it all funny. He has bragged on his twitter how much money he made this weekend and reposts all the insults he finds, celebrating it.

I finally blocked him on my Twitter as it no longer amused me. Though I am sad, because it will not be easy to find him at future cons, as he will not be allowed any table space. Even Wizard World banned him! When Gareb says you are a fucking douche, you have hit new lows unseen by anyone but worms.

So my questions to Rob are thus:

· Are you that fucking thick that you cannot realize that not ALL publicity is GOOD publicity?
· How does it feel to be so despised by anyone in comics?
· Do you really think anyone with half a brain will ever believe that you drew Calvin & Hobbes or Garfield?
· Lastly, what kind of degenerate asshole tries to make a name for himself off of Dwayne McDuffie’s death?

There is not enough bad that can happen to you. I would say you should be ashamed, but out of all you stole from others, you neglected to get a sense of decency.

Take your ill gotten gains and make a large donation to Hero Initiative, or Unscrewed, or CBLDF. Try to rejoin the human race, rather than celebrate being known as a pathetic jackoff. Or die in fire.

I am good either way.