September is back to school month, and if any of you are like me, than you are grudgingly entering your second week of monotony. Is it just me or did the summer feel like a hazy dream? Honestly, I’m in shock that it’s already over. But that’s not what this article is about! I need advice from you people! How the hell does one balance the time and effort it takes to be a nerd and have a real life? I just can’t figure it out…
I’m entering my third year of university and as an English major. On top of having 15 hours of class, I’m supposed to be reading approximately two and a half (or sometimes more) novels a week. I also have a job where I get about 25-30 hours per week. Plus I have friends who are not nerdy, and therefore are not cool with watching me play video games while we hang out. When you factor sleeping into the equation, I have very little time for my favourite nerdy pastimes, and I don’t like it!
When trying to find a solution to this problem, I thought I’d look at my most successful nerdy friends and see how they balance real life and geek life. The first example I bring to the table is someone I’m sure most of you are familiar with: Chris Demelo. He plays video games quite a bit, and yet still finds the time to go to work AND jerk off in his basement… How does he do it? Well, I like to think I know D-Bag pretty well, and after much consideration I think he does it in two ways. Firstly, by having only nerdy friends, so they can play together. Secondly, by ignoring people on the weekdays, so as to have some alone time. As much as I’d like to ignore everyone and get my gaming on, I don’t think I could do it. It feels too anti-social for me. Plus there’s no way my roommate would let me stay at home and play Zelda when all our friends are doing something fun. And as for getting rid of my non-nerdy friends, I like them too much. So Demelo’s strategy is not for me.
Next I thought about my friends Ryan and Phil. They have lives, and game a crap-ton! What’s their secret, you ask? Well I figured it out, and it’s a method that doesn’t work for me either. Cutting down on sleep… sometimes to the point of not sleeping at all on certain nights. Every once and a while I don’t mind pulling an all-nighter, but lack of sleep on a regular basis is a fate worse than death (at least for me). I love sleeping! If I had my way I’d hibernate for 4 months of the year… So as much as I love my geeky lifestyle, I doubt I’d be able to enjoy it without my 8 hours a night.
Lastly I thought about my brothers. Games are their lives, and they still go to school and hang out with their friends all the time. Surely their strategy is a winner, right? Sadly not. Neither of them have employment; they don’t need it because they both still live at home. Of course they have time for gaming, it’s basically their jobs! And as much as I’d like to quit and devote my life to mastering FPS’s, I don’t really want to be evicted from my apartment. So basically I’m screwed.
That’s right. I’m just fucked when it comes to leading a healthy, balanced, geeky lifestyle. There’s no way to do it. Disagree? Write your tips in the comments section or send me an email.